The true enemy of relationships

(this month, many Crossroadians are reading the book Margin by Dr. Richard A. Swenson in an all-church summer book read. Below are a few of my own ponderings as I read the book...)

One of the a-ha's I've had so far reading Margin has to do with what is the true enemy of my spiritual and relational life...

Swenson writes, "Progress's biggest failure has been its inability to nurture and protect right relationships. If progress had helped here, I would have no quarrel with it. As we have already seen, progress builds by using the tools of economics, education, and technology. But what are the tools of the relational life? Are they not the social (my relationship to others), the emotional (my relationship to myself), and the spiritual (my relationship to God)? None of the tools of progress has helped build the relational foundation our society requires.
Margin, however, knows how to nurture relationship. In fact, Margin exists for relationship." p.30

Now, I might take a little issue with Dr. Swenson's belief that today's progress does nothing to help build relationships. In fact, through cheap long distance, email, facebook and the like I feel more connected now to people far away from me than ever before. Through facebook alone I've re-connected with friends I haven't seen for decades. It's remarkable and enriching.

But I think I understand what he means. Our progress has a tendency to allow us to speed up. I can now connect with more and more people, with faster and faster turn-around of information.

Progress itself is spoken of mostly in terms that are anti-depth. Relationships do not progress through speed but through slowness. They grow more like a plant taking root, through the slow steady watering of experience, time and sharing life.

Because of that, I think the true enemy of relationships is not progress but speed. Progress leads to speed, certainly. But it is speed that kills relationships.

When we are moving too fast to take time for our kids, speed kills.
When we are doing so many things that nothing gets our full attention, speed kills.
When we can't even spend time listening to God because our day is so packed, speed kills.

"Margin exists for relationship," Dr. Swenson says. Relationship is the pinnacle of our human experience. Relationship with God and with each other is at the heart. What will I do today to make sure I have enough room in my life for those relationships?

Lots to think about. Let me know what you think!
jeff

Margin Talk Back

Crossroads is starting a month long all-church summer book read tonight (we are starting it with a potluck, the quintessential church event). The book we are reading is called Margin and I would highly recommend it to you. It is written by an MD, Dr. Richard Swenson, who was finding that most of the maladies that brought people into his office had to do with the stress of living overloaded lives. Indeed, high blood pressure, heart problems, overeating, under sleeping -- many of these can be easily traced back to the stress we place ourselves under as 21st Century human beings in America. When I was writing my dissertation on affluence and Christian Discipleship, I found a lot of the same things -- that people are doing tons more compacted into less time than ever before. Unfortunately, this doesn't lead to happier lives, just more worried and unhappy ones. This does not just lead to physical sickness, but spiritual sickness as well.

We the church need to fight this sickness. To do so, over 100 people so far have taken a copy of Margin and have committed to read it and pass it on.

What I'd like to do in this blog is encourage you to read along with us and post any responses/questions you might have in the comments section (I may post a few thoughts as well). Let's agree that our overloaded lives are not all they are cracked up to be, and are maybe not even glorifying to God. Then together, lets commit to change.

If you haven't picked up a book yet, they are at the church information window. $5, or whatever you can afford.

Blessings,
jeff