A Perfectly Imperfect Thanksgiving

I hope you have a perfectly imperfect Thanksgiving.

Let me tell you what I mean.

For me, Thanksgiving is one of the best days of the year. Whoever thought it up in American history (was it Benjamin Franklin?) -- THANK YOU! We as individuals, as families, as a nation, absolutely need to stop once in a while and say thanks, enjoy our families, eat some turkey, and count our blessings (oh yeah, and watch football...take a nap...eat more turkey...). In the fast paced world we live in, Thanksgiving is a breath of fresh air. I am thankful for the blessings of my life and for the day to recognize and celebrate them -- and my prayer is the same for you -- a perfect Thanksgiving!

Yet, as I read the news today, I am also filled with sorrow and horror as I hear about others in the world for whom Thanksgiving will be far from perfect. I just read a story of a young African woman who is the product of rape in war, living under an oppression that I can't even imagine (see BBC NEWS http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/05/africa_tales_of_rape_in_dr_congo/html/1.stm). A little warning here -- this BBC story is gut wrenching, and not for the faint of heart. Don't read it if your gut says so.

As I hear her story, and as I think about others both close and abroad whose lives are filled with similar horrors, I am both outraged and humbled at the same time. Outraged that this happens in a world that I too call my home, and yet humbled that I am blessed with relative safety and security, and can celebrate Thanksgiving in peace and joy.

So -- What should I do? I wrestle with myself.

On one hand, I want (and need) Thanksgiving to be perfect, because it is a reminder to me of all of God's blessings, for which I am so grateful, and I want to enjoy it fully.

Yet, on the other hand I also need my Thanksgiving to be imperfect as well. I don't want to get so cozy in my comfort that I forget this young woman's story, or to forget those who live in poverty and oppression, or who are alone and afraid.

I need it to be perfect, but imperfect as well.

So how will I celebrate Thanksgiving this year? By going into Thursday's festivities with a heart of humble thanks at God's blessings, enjoying my family, eating yummy food, and even catching a nap (I hope!) and a football game to boot.

But I will also spend the day aware and cognicent of the pain of those here and abroad who are at the heart of God's love -- the least of these.

Maybe that seems impossible -- to be filled with thanksgiving and pain at the same time.

But I don't think so. In fact, I believe that it is when both are present that we are most fully experiencing the love of God for us and for the world that is hurting.

That is what I hope for my Thanksgiving.

May you have a perfectly imperfect Thanksgiving too.

AMEN

My Prayer for Dayle

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my daughter Dayle's baptism. That was one of the most wonderful days of my life as a pastor and as a father. Here is a story I love about Dr. Will Willimon, former dean of the chapel at Duke University. This is my prayer for Dayle as well (and also my prayer for myself, that I don't react like the father in this story!).

"One day, Dr. Willimon received a phone call from a very irate father. The father exploded on the other end of the line, saying to him: "I hold you personally responsible." He was angry because his graduate school-bound daughter had decided to (in his words) 'throw it all away and go do mission work in Haiti with the Presbyterian Church.'" The father screamed, "Isn't it absurd! She has a B.S. degree from Duke, and he is going to dig ditches in Haiti! I hold you responsible for this!"

Willimon said, "Why me?" The father said, "You ingratiated yourself and filled her with all this religion stuff." Will Willimon is not easily intimidated. He asked the father, "Sir, weren't you the one who had her baptized?" "Well, well, well, yes." "And didn't you take her to Sunday School when she was a little girl?" "Well, well, yes."

And didn't you allow your daughter to go on those youth ski trips to Colorado when she was in high school?" "Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Sir, you are the reason she is throwing it all away. You introduced her to Jesus, not me." "But," said the father, "all we wanted was a Presbyterian!"

Willimon, who has an instinct for the jugular, replied, "Well, sorry, sir, you messed up. You've gone and made a disciple."

AMEN

Blue Like Jazz

I recently had to write a little reflection on the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller for one of my doctor of ministry courses. I know many from the church read it this summer, and so I thought I'd post my paper for you all to read if you'd like. If you haven't read the book -- it is a great read and a wonderful evangelism tool. Here it is...

A friend remarked that Blue Like Jazz was a book that “described the Christian faith without using Christian language.” It’s true -- Miller’s journalistic account of Christian spirituality lived in a postmodern world is Christian in essence without feeling Christian in packaging. It is a brilliant piece of work, and I loan it out whenever I can. In fact, many of our church small groups went through it this summer and (by in large) loved it.
There are a number of things I appreciate about the book. First, it carries with it a sense of authenticity that comes from sharing one’s struggles and doubts. Miller is very open and honest about his own flaws, shortcomings, and incompletion. He writes candidly about his periods of self-righteousness, his moments of posturing, and his falls from grace.
Yet, instead of tarnishing his Christian witness, these stories make Miller more real and believable. Much like the Scriptures which are filled with flawed individuals, Miller is a struggling believer who knows all too well that he doesn’t have it all together. His humility and willingness to wrestle with God in real life rings true.
Secondly, Miller is constantly finding God in the murkiest of environments. He has friends who cuss, smoke, protest, are hippies, live in moral laxity, and even attend Reed College (the college where people are most likely to ignore God per The Princeton Review). Yet, instead of judging them by their sins or by the environment in which they live and thus staying away from them, Miller is able to see under these “flaws” to the people and places that are on a quest for truth. If Blue Like Jazz were a novel, the heroes would definitely be these cast of sinners. They are the ones who shine light in the darkness (the “darkness” poignantly enough being the religious elite). And in a strange and beautiful way, it is these cast of ragamuffins who help Miller grow in his Christian faith most of all (or as he calls it, “Christian spirituality”). Their stories of finding Christ and their practice of the Christian virtues (whether they are really Christians or not) compel Miller to go forward in his own faith in Christ. This is not just brilliant insight, but also compelling evangelism in a world suspect of religion and the institution of faith.
Finally, I love it that Miller never resolves his faith completely. He is constantly searching, wrestling, and ultimately uncomfortable saying he is certain about anything, except maybe Love as he has experienced it in encounters with Jesus. Lack of foundation is a post-modern principle, and Miller happily lives in it. You get the sense that Miller sees himself and his faith as a constant work in progress – and he is fine with that (albeit uncomfortable in the process).
The reason I love this so much is that I see myself and my faith in much the same way. It is the living Word, Jesus Christ who I want to define my reality and who walks with me into the future. Because of that, I feel like I have the privilege to wrestle with my faith, to question, and to learn as I go. I don’t mind the dissonance, and in fact, if there isn’t some dissonance, I wonder if I am missing something.
Christian spirituality is not as much a set of doctrines and beliefs as it is a lived experience with the risen Christ. Miller’s book sets this experience in motion in a way my generation can understand and latch on to. I am grateful.

I Yam who I Yam

We just got back from our church's annual "Great Getaway", a weekend retreat at a Christian conference center in Green Lake, Wisconsin. I think it is one of the great highlights of our church year. 220 of us were there amidst the grey skies and (at times) the pouring rain to have some great fellowship and fun (including the wildest game of bingo you ever saw, touch football, and knitting lessons for all ages) and great teaching (which we have been blessed with every year).

This year was no exception. Our teacher for the weekend was Dr. Dale Bruner, Professor of Religion Emeritus at Whitworth college and now a retired library junkie at Fuller Seminary in Pasedena.

Dr. Bruner has been called by some the best Bible teacher in the world, and after this weekend, I would wholeheartedly agree. His love for Christ, sharp mind, and kind and generous spirit exuded a passion that was infectous. He made his mark on me, my family, and each of us who were there.

One of the lessons Dr. Bruner presented came from the end of chapter 1 of John's Gospel, when John the Baptist is asked three times who he is. Dr. Bruner pointed out that John the Baptist first says who he is not (I am not the Messiah, I am not Elijah, I am not the Prophet), and then who he is (I am the voice of one calling in the wilderness, I am the one who baptizes with water, I am unworthy to untie his sandels). Dr. Bruner took this as a great encouragement for each of us as disciples of Christ that it is ok for us to own up to who we are and who we are not. And when we do claim our identity, we are being empowered with a healthy self-awareness which frees us up to be the person God has made us to be.

Popeye couldn't have said it better -- I Yam who I Yam (my line, not Dr. Bruner's so don't blame him!)

Dr. Bruner then encouraged us individually to come up with our own list of who we are and who we are not. I had a chance to think about it for myself and found it to be a very helpful and freeing exercise. It is so easy to try to be something that we aren't, or get embarassed about who we are. But I/we need to fight that tendency. So...here is my list

I am not...
1)Perfect. Sometimes I think I should be, but I just can't seem to pull it off. :) Seriously though, that is one of my biggest hangups in my Christian life -- thinking I should have it all together. Instead I need to own and rejoice in the fact that I WON'T EVER be perfect, and instead trust in God's love and grace (which has the mysterious power of healing us and making us closer to whole than we ever were before). Luther said, "Our righteousness is more of a problem for us than our sin." I tend to agree.

2)A Business Administrator. Thankfully I am learning I need to surround myself with folks who ARE good administrators to keep me from stalling and are in the process teaching me a few new tricks. But still, this is not my gift.

3)A Rockstar. You might be saying, "uh, Jeff, that is pretty obvious." But what I really mean is that I am not a flashy personality who likes to jump around and be on display. Sometimes I wish I were, but the reality is I'm not (I wouldn't look good in the leather duds either).


However, I AM...

1)Steady. There is not much that surprises me or knocks me for a whirl. Some might say that's "boring" -- I prefer steady. And since it's my list I can say what I want! Actually, I consider this to be a great gift.

2)Contemplative. I love to think deeply about things which pertain to God and life and how the two meet. I love to read and ponder and write. These are things that give me life, but are also (I hope) gifts to the community at large.

3)Nurturing. More than anything I want people to grow -- in faith, in life, in love. I love investing in people and walking through life with them. It gives me great joy. I think this is why I love be a pastor so much. It blends my gifts and makes me feel like I am being who God created me to be.

OK enough about me -- What about you? Who are you? Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.

Blessings,
jeff