I Yam who I Yam

We just got back from our church's annual "Great Getaway", a weekend retreat at a Christian conference center in Green Lake, Wisconsin. I think it is one of the great highlights of our church year. 220 of us were there amidst the grey skies and (at times) the pouring rain to have some great fellowship and fun (including the wildest game of bingo you ever saw, touch football, and knitting lessons for all ages) and great teaching (which we have been blessed with every year).

This year was no exception. Our teacher for the weekend was Dr. Dale Bruner, Professor of Religion Emeritus at Whitworth college and now a retired library junkie at Fuller Seminary in Pasedena.

Dr. Bruner has been called by some the best Bible teacher in the world, and after this weekend, I would wholeheartedly agree. His love for Christ, sharp mind, and kind and generous spirit exuded a passion that was infectous. He made his mark on me, my family, and each of us who were there.

One of the lessons Dr. Bruner presented came from the end of chapter 1 of John's Gospel, when John the Baptist is asked three times who he is. Dr. Bruner pointed out that John the Baptist first says who he is not (I am not the Messiah, I am not Elijah, I am not the Prophet), and then who he is (I am the voice of one calling in the wilderness, I am the one who baptizes with water, I am unworthy to untie his sandels). Dr. Bruner took this as a great encouragement for each of us as disciples of Christ that it is ok for us to own up to who we are and who we are not. And when we do claim our identity, we are being empowered with a healthy self-awareness which frees us up to be the person God has made us to be.

Popeye couldn't have said it better -- I Yam who I Yam (my line, not Dr. Bruner's so don't blame him!)

Dr. Bruner then encouraged us individually to come up with our own list of who we are and who we are not. I had a chance to think about it for myself and found it to be a very helpful and freeing exercise. It is so easy to try to be something that we aren't, or get embarassed about who we are. But I/we need to fight that tendency. So...here is my list

I am not...
1)Perfect. Sometimes I think I should be, but I just can't seem to pull it off. :) Seriously though, that is one of my biggest hangups in my Christian life -- thinking I should have it all together. Instead I need to own and rejoice in the fact that I WON'T EVER be perfect, and instead trust in God's love and grace (which has the mysterious power of healing us and making us closer to whole than we ever were before). Luther said, "Our righteousness is more of a problem for us than our sin." I tend to agree.

2)A Business Administrator. Thankfully I am learning I need to surround myself with folks who ARE good administrators to keep me from stalling and are in the process teaching me a few new tricks. But still, this is not my gift.

3)A Rockstar. You might be saying, "uh, Jeff, that is pretty obvious." But what I really mean is that I am not a flashy personality who likes to jump around and be on display. Sometimes I wish I were, but the reality is I'm not (I wouldn't look good in the leather duds either).


However, I AM...

1)Steady. There is not much that surprises me or knocks me for a whirl. Some might say that's "boring" -- I prefer steady. And since it's my list I can say what I want! Actually, I consider this to be a great gift.

2)Contemplative. I love to think deeply about things which pertain to God and life and how the two meet. I love to read and ponder and write. These are things that give me life, but are also (I hope) gifts to the community at large.

3)Nurturing. More than anything I want people to grow -- in faith, in life, in love. I love investing in people and walking through life with them. It gives me great joy. I think this is why I love be a pastor so much. It blends my gifts and makes me feel like I am being who God created me to be.

OK enough about me -- What about you? Who are you? Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.

Blessings,
jeff